How to Love Your Church

We often see ourselves as the heroes of the stories we read. We identify with noble characters like Atticus Finch, Elizabeth Bennett, and Frodo Baggins—rarely do we align ourselves with flawed figures like Bob Ewell, Mary Bennett, or Gollum. This tendency extends to how we view the early church in the New Testament. Just as we picture ourselves as the virtuous protagonists, we imagine the early church as an ideal community—a flawless model of what our own church should be. Yet, just as we overlook our own imperfections, we fail to recognize that the early church was far from perfect, much like our own congregations today. We are quick to embrace a vision of the church as a spotless bride but are surprised when we encounter its blemishes and wrinkles on Sunday morning. But Christ does not call us to love a perfect, idealized church. He calls us to love the church as it truly is—imperfect, often frustrating, yet still the beloved body of Christ.

Charles H. Spurgeon quipped, “If I had never joined a church ‘till I had found one that was perfect, I should never have joined one at all; and the moment I did join it….it would not have been a perfect church after I had become a member of it.” In other words, you’ll never find the perfect church, but if you did, you’d just ruin it! There is no church that is perfect this side of heaven, it’s precisely these imperfections that challenge us to love more deeply and sincerely.

So, how do we love our church despite its flaws? Paul gives us some helpful markers in Romans 12:9-13 that help us cultivate love for God’s people—principles that are just as necessary for the twenty-first-century church as they were for the first-century church when they were written:

Verse 9: “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.”

As we know from marriage, love is not merely a feeling, but a commitment. But love does not mean wholesale embrace of all things. Genuine love requires genuine hate of evil, so loving the church does not mean tolerating evil if it arises. But what if we were not so quick to leave our churches over minor issues? Or a major issue that is being dealt with faithfully? What if we treated our relationship with the church more like a covenant and less like a customer? When Paul describes Christ’s love for the church, he says Christ, “nourishes and cherishes it” (Ephesians 5:29). To love the church, we must first hold fast to it faithfully and cling to it in love, cleave to it for the long haul, even when it’s not easy.

Verse 10: “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

The word “outdo” has the meaning of taking the lead, going before, going out of your way so serve. Christians must be the first to take the step in showing honor, in considering others needs above our own. Our love for the church will not grow if we do not see our brothers and sisters in Christ — yes, even the neediest and the most time-consuming of those — as worthy of our affection and honor.  Think of the most faithful church member you’ve known and the ways they honor those around him. What would it look like for you to outdo him? Is affection and honor your posture towards your church? Do you seek out ways to serve and encourage one another?

Verse 11, “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.”

New Year’s resolutions have taught us that enthusiasm comes easiest at the start of a new endeavor. How many of us have joined a church with excitement, only to feel that enthusiasm taper off the longer we stay there? Paul reminds us that serving one another requires fervor, not growing weary in our service, being enlivened through the Spirit to do good works. And so simply put, we should look forward to Sunday morning. We should be eager to involve ourselves in the life of the congregation, to serve our brothers and sisters, with the motivation that it is the Lord we are ultimately serving.

Verse 12, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”

These three traits are borne of perseverance. They are more internal dispositions of the heart than external steps towards our neighbor. Disillusionment and discouragement crop up naturally. Hope, patience, and constancy come with effort. Loving your church does not start with changing your church, it starts with a changed heart that is tuned by prayer and rooted in patience and hope.

Verse 13, “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.”

“Contribute” and “seek” are action words. Being a member of the church does not mean sitting, waiting for opportunities, and passively receiving. It is dynamic and challenging.  It means inviting in not just those you enjoy, but those who are less enjoyable, and have nothing to give you in return. To contribute to the needs of the saints is to know their needs. That means going deeper than small talk after the service. It means we should pray for those who irritate us, and care for those who drain your time and resources.  It's easy to love who we like, but it goes against the grain of the world to love the unlikeable. In doing so, we show Christ’s love and hospitality to an unwelcoming world.

Above all, we must remember that Christ Himself loves the church. We are called to love the church not because it is flawless, but because it is His. Loving the church means embracing our role within this imperfect community, recognizing that we are all recipients of grace, and journeying together in sanctification.  Like Spurgeon, may we come to agree that the church, “Imperfect as it is, it is the dearest place on earth to us.”

Megan K. Taylor earned her MA in Theological Studies from Westminster Theological Seminary. She and her family lives in Sanford, Fl where she works for Ligonier Ministries and is a member of Saint Paul’s PCA.