The Wounded Shepherd: When Sheep Bite

It was time for me to leave. When I took the call to a congregational Baptist church four years earlier, I didn’t know that I would soon undergo the change of a lifetime—a change of my convictions. The church’s doctrinal statement was the Apostle’s Creed – that’s it. So, as my convictions began to trend in a more reformed direction, I believed myself to be within the doctrinal framework of the church, until I wasn’t.

The congregation was a little ruffled when I baptized the first couple of infants but generally tolerated my increasingly reformed sermons. But then I went too far. I took the painting of Sallman’s Head of Christ from above the communion table, which they still referred to as an altar, and I was in trouble. After four years it was time to leave, so I offered my resignation. However, what happened shocked me. The older folks in the congregation demanded a congregational meeting at which they refused my resignation! I didn’t know what was going on. Had I misread the people? Was there reformation brewing?

I didn’t have time to think more about it when another motion came from the floor, “I move that we terminate our current minister!” I was stunned. They had refused my resignation so that they could fire me. To add insult to injury, the very people who started the coup approached me afterward with smiles and offers to remain in the parsonage for as long as I needed.

In the moment, I didn’t think of what I was experiencing as spiritual abuse, but it certainly was, and I am not alone. Three years ago, Todd Pruitt published, “You Probably Have a Good Pastor,” in which he wrote, “[I] have never spoken to a pastor who has not been mistreated, slandered, undermined, or run off by church members, an associate pastor, elders, deacons, or all of the above.” Unfortunately, many men have experienced events and people similar to what I experienced.

Spiritual abuse is a hot topic these days. Typically, though, the conversation is geared toward exposing abusive leaders, but the same principles could be applied to this conversation where the abuse is aimed at the pastor. Quite frankly, pastors do experience spiritual abuse by congregations. The abuse can come from the leadership and formal power structurers, or even from a smaller group in the church and unofficial power structures, all aimed at punishing or removing the pastor. In my own experience, the storm brewed informally before manifesting formally in that congregational meeting.

That experience was hard. It would have been hard at any time, but my son, who was less than a year old, was born with congenital problems, and we were making weekly trips to the Children’s Hospital an hour away.  We were tired, alone, and surrounded by plastic smiles.  I praise God for that experience. But I also gladly praise Him for different experiences. Next year will mark my twentieth year in the congregation I helped to plant and now pastor, and it is a happy providence to serve those people. 

So, what am I saying? Am I saying that there are no bad pastors? Of course not. That would be a ridiculous assertion. However, I do believe that every charlatan and wolf has been plastered on every social media platform, and so charlatans feel like the norm rather than the exception. Social media casts the minority as the majority in our minds.  But it is not the majority. This is unpopular to say, but far more often, the abuse is toward the minister.  

The series of articles to follow is about this trend. Read them with an open mind and heart. If there are issues that you need to talk to your pastor about, then do it through proper ecclesiastical channels but, above all, with love and grace. But if you have a good pastor, which you likely do, then take time to encourage him. There are folks in my current congregation who are wonderful encouragers. But I know from experience that congregations are often like stoic fathers, giving encouragement sparingly.  Be generous in your encouragement. After all, he is the man God has appointed to bring you the Word in season and out of season.